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Save That Daylight
18 November 2006

Every year about this time in Queensland the daylight savings debate starts up again as southern states fool themselves into thinking that they're living in another time zone and Queensland, the only state that actually got to vote on daylight savings, doesn't.

Despite the fact that it has been conclusively proven that the majority of Queenslanders don't want daylight savings implemented, people continue to bring the debate up every year. There are a lot of good arguments on each side, of course. Some business people complain that it creates confusion and problems when dealing with clients in other states. And the idea of an extra hour of sunlight in the evening after work is enticing to a lot of full-time employees - why, you could almost fool yourself into thinking you had the afternoon off. And things are ridiculously complicated for that town Mungindi on the Queensland/New South Wales border where one half is operating on daylight savings time and the other isn't (though this essentially means it�s really easy to celebrate New Year's twice.) On the other hand, Queensland is further north, and as such doesn�t benefit quite as much from daylight savings as the other states do. Furthermore, Queensland has perfect weather ALL YEAR ROUND. Why on earth would we want MORE sunlight, when people start clapping their hands every time it rains?

There's also the argument from the considerably large rural sector complaining that daylight savings would cause them a huge hassle. After all, livestock work according to natural time - you can't really tell all your cattle that feeding time/milking time is going to be brought forward an hour and expect them to adjust. So farmers are going to have to get up at the same ACTUAL time regardless of what the 'state approved' time is. I can't blame them for being upset about that. Instead of just one town that was half out of synch, just about every small town in Queensland would be messed up. Not to mention Queenslanders are much too lazy to change their clocks twice a year. That probably has more to do with it than anything else.

Either way, the fact is - THERE WAS A VOTE. Daylight savings in Queensland was nixed. But that didn't shut up the daylight-lovers who are absolutely convinced that they are right and everyone else in Queensland is a backwards hick. Every year they push for it when it comes to that time again. The call has become a lot louder recently, too, with the constant influx of folk emigrating to Brisbane and the Gold Coast from the southern states, all of who would have long become used to daylight savings and can't quite comprehend that it's okay for a state to not follow the popular norm, that daylight saving doesn't REALLY make you cool, and that after graduation those daylight saving states will probably just become dole-bludgers while everyone else enters the realm of the wealthy and respected.

Being anti-daylight-savings myself (more than ten minutes in the Summer sun is enough to burn my moon-tanned skin), what I find particularly irritating is the double standard. Once daylight savings is implemented, it stays implemented. So if through sheer persistence the pro-savings camp finally manages to prompt another vote - and actually WIN it this time - isn't it only fair for the anti-savings folk to start complaining and campaigning every year to REMOVE daylight savings? Are we going to have to vote on daylight savings every five years, for the REST OF TIME ITSELF?

There is one solution to the endless debate, of course. Wipe that border town Mungindi from the map! I have proof that Brisbane City Council is ready to act next time conflict should erupt, and has constructed a super-weapon that is always aimed directly at the border town.

I swear that there was no photoshop involved in this.
Originally constructed to destroy the sun once and for all, ending all debate, more moderate scientists modified its purpose for decisive tactical strikes against Queensland's enemies.

If that still doesn't work, they can just move on to systematically destroying the rest of the daylight-saving states. I estimate that they'll get about halfway through before people stop complaining about it.